Staying the Course

It is easy to be thrown off course by things that are out of our control.

I have been writing a book, and today finished the second draft.  Off to my publisher it went for her review.  I was excited about this major accomplishment, but my joy was short lived as I ran into a few glitches in areas in which I am unfamiliar. 

The question I pondered was this:  How do I want to handle this situation?  Do I want to allow it to derail me, or take the next step to move into solution?  I chose the latter.  What I did next was simple—I took a break!  Yes, I took myself out to dinner with a friend and after, got myself a treat.  It was a form of celebration for a major achievement.  For me, that was living in the solution. 

There are times we simply need to regroup before moving forward.

I was not allowing myself the joy of sharing my accomplishment.  We need to pat ourselves on the back from time to time for our hard work, rather than quickly moving to the next step.

Had I continued to sit at my computer trying to figure things out, I would have gotten nowhere, except stressed out.  For me the solution was to fill up so I could forge forward.

Now I feel calm and centered, ready for the challenges ahead.

Let me know in the comments below what you do when you are stuck.  Do you give yourself time to regroup?

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Mistakes Happen


When I first began posting blogs, I made a spelling error that spellcheck missed.  A reader sent me a message correcting my error, which I am grateful for but the way it was communicated was sarcastic and rude.

I wonder why the individual felt that approach was needed?  What would have been much more effective was a simple, clear compassionate message.  Usually when a person is sarcastic and rude with others, they treat themselves the same way.

Mistakes happen to us all.  It is an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than get stuck in the downward spiral of negativity.

When input is communicated in a positive, solution based manner we are much more receptive.  The practice of kindness when you or someone else makes a mistake will go a long way. 

Let me know in the comments below how you react to mistakes.  Can you make a shift to kindness and compassion?   

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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5 Steps to Finding the Solution

Often when your have a problem, your lose your ability to see a solution.  The mind gets in the way and your vision is clouded by your perceptions, resulting in perpetuating the problem.  You are left feeling drained and frustrated.  

There are simple techniques that will help you take a closer look at the situation.

Try this next time you have a problem:

  1. Get still for a moment and take a few slow breaths.
  2. Focus your attention on the problematic situation and watch it without taking it personally, the way you would watch a movie.
  3. As you watch, pay close attention to the part you play in the movie focusing on the images in front of you.  If you start getting an opinion, take a few breaths.
  4. Identify the problem that you see on the screen, including your part, with a neutral point of view.
  5. Now, think of one thing you can do to move into the solution.  It might be as simple as a shift in attitude.

Let me know in the comments below what happens.  Were you able to detach from the move long enough to see a solution?  If not, let me know in the comments below what you think happened.

Posted in: Technique of the Week

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Are You the Problem or Solution?

There is a saying in Twelve Step Recovery Programs:

If I am not the problem, there is no solution.  In other words, the only one you can change is YOU.

That simple sentence is very freeing.  It takes others out of the equation and puts the responsibility for your state of mind in your hands.

Even if someone has wronged you, it is up to you to keep your side of the street clean- it might be as simple as a change in attitude. This shifts the power others have over you and places it in your hands. 

There is great empowerment in living this way. You will have less stress and pain.  You have a choice of what you want to focus on-the problem or the solution.

When you choose to live in the solution, you will have more stamina and clarity to enjoy and participate in your life each moment.  

Do you live in the problem or solution?

Let me know in the comments below how you have shifted into the solution.  If you are struggling in the problem, what do you think is getting in the way?

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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