Everything Has a Learning Curve

In the process of writing this book, I feel humbled by the process and complexity of what is involved.  It reminds me that everything we try has a learning curve.  As a baby we learned to walk, then we tackled the bicycle, and as a teen we learned how to drive. They all took time and practice.

 As adults, we tend to resist this natural process and are surprised and even frustrated at the length of time it takes to try something new.  This book has had so many steps that at times I felt overwhelmed.  My feelings stemmed more from how much I did not know, than from the actual process.  I think that this is at the heart of resistance and it perpetuates stress. It is natural to want to feel secure in our knowledge and intelligence, but this need can get in the way of success.  Buddhist philosophy suggests a beginners mind, and that has been helpful to me.  Think about how a child explores something new.  It is with curiosity and excitement.  What a great way to live.

As this book comes to completion (I hope!), I have learned a great deal about all aspects of the process.  I will certainly write another book, if only to amortize the time and money that this book required! 

As with any project, I needed to remember what my wise husband says each time he tackles a new task; project how much time and money you think it will cost and Double It. How true!

What process have you gone through that had a learning curve?  Let me know in the comments below.

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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It is What it is…


This simple phrase is short, sweet and quite freeing.

Our minds ruminate over things making them complicated, generating a multitude of feelings.

This creates internal chaos, because we see what is happening through our perceptions, layering our judgments, wishes and desires on top of what the reality is.

As we go through our day, situations will arise.  When we are able to see what is truly happening and realize that there is nothing we can do about it, that it just is; we are able to move on.  We can experience the relief of not having to fix it or change it.

When you can do this, you will feel calmer and more centered and free.

Remember- It is what it is… Until it changes!

Let me know in the comments below how you view what happens in your life.  Are you able to let go and move on?  If not, what do you think happens?

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Words We Use: Are They Accurate?

I have been around someone who uses the word terrible to describe everything that she perceives inconvenient in her life and the lives of others.

The meaning of terrible “ Causing great fear or alarm; dreadful” does not match the reality of having to go through a pile of newspapers, yet that is the word she uses to describe her situation.  

Words carry tremendous power.  The documentary “What the Bleep Do We Know?” creatively addressed this topic.  Dr. Masaru Emoto studied the power of words on water.  By using both written and spoken words, the water actually “changed expression” depending on the thought and feeling. 

If words change the expression of water, the impact on the well-being of humans is immeasurable.

Our thoughts and words create our reality. 

Become aware of the language your use throughout the day.  You have the power to make the shift in your state of mind and emotions by the simple use of words.

Do your words accurately describe what is happening?  Let me know in the comments below.

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Un-Hook From Reaction with 5 Simple Tools

Un-Hook from Reaction with 5 Simple Tools

Relationships can be wonderful and rich, but they also often challenge us.

Those we care about the most can easily frustrate us.  Our significant other, our children or parents hook us and we react. 

Many times the feelings are justified, but the problem arises when we respond with inappropriate behavior.  Yelling, stomping and name calling is harmful to both you and those around you, and your frustrations can lead to these behaviors in a flash. It is like being blindsided by a car.  You did not see it coming until it is too late, but the damage is already done.

How can you step on the breaks instantly?

Here are some simple tools that can help:

1.          Take a breath

2.          Feel your feet on the ground

3.          Put a visual Stop Sign in your mind

4.          Walk away and talk later

5.          Bring to mind someone you care about (it might be the person you are reacting to)

What do all of these tools have in common?  They bring you back to the moment. 

Try one or all of these tools and see if it makes a difference.  If you react to others in emotionally harmful ways, and later realize that you should have used one of the above techniques, you are already on your way to change.  Please share what worked or did not work for you in the comments below.  Feel free to contact me with any questions.


Posted in: Technique of the Week

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