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Who Pushes Your Buttons?

Most of the time when we get angry or hurt, it is because we take things personally.   We get hooked and react, which not only takes us out of the moment but negatively impacts our physical well being.

Much of our reactions come from family members.  We have history with them and when they do something that annoys or hurts us it is because we have made it about us.  In reality, it is about them- their thoughts, judgments and behaviors.

I once heard someone talking about how her parents really push her buttons.  Someone replied:  Remember, they installed them!  

One of the most difficult challenges in relationships is to let other be who they are, quirks and all without layering our objections and reactions onto their behavior. 

The key is to realize it is really not about us at all, it is about how they see things.  When we are able to see this clearly, we can come back to the here and now and go about our day with peace and ease.

In time, maybe those buttons can be uninstalled!

Let me know in the comments below how you react to family.  Do you take their behavior personally? If so, can you make a shift to stay in the moment?

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Life is a Balancing Act!

 

 I heard a funny definition of balance:  It is the place you pass as you go from one extreme to the other.  There is much truth in that. 

Why is it so difficult to live life in balance?  What gets in our way?

It is our minds constant state of urgency and it throws us off balance.  We end up “doing”, rather than “experiencing”.   We tell ourselves that we have to or should get it done and we neglect other things that need our attention.

 We live on autopilot and miss out on our day.

Everything we need to get accomplished throughout our day can be done mindfully.  Balancing play, work, family is vital to living a full life filled with inner calm and joy.

It takes a commitment to change habits and priorities.

Try this: Turn off the computer and cell phone for a half hour  and be fully present with family or leisure,  

See how you feel.  Let me know in the comments below what you did and how it worked.

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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