ease Archives - Custom Calm

Trick or Treat? Find out in 5 Steps.

Posted by Ellen Sichel on October 31, 2011

When I hear the phrase trick or treat, it reminds me of how we are often the mind plays tricks on us.

We see through the filters from our personal history, clouding what is really in front of us. Our reactions and decisions are based on this information.

It takes practice to really see what is happening beyond the stories of the mind and when we can do this, we can live with more clarity and ease.

Give this a try:

Look at an unusual object
Say what your immediate perception of the object is (it might remind you of something).
Now, take a look at the object from all angles.
Report what you see without any opinions- just report what is actually in front of you.
Notice what the difference was in your original report and what is actually in front of you.

Let me know in the comments below what you noticed. Was your original report different? How do you think you can use this in your daily life?

Tags: clarity, ease, mind, opinions, perceptions, reaction

Posted in: Technique of the Week

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Who Pushes Your Buttons?

Posted by Ellen Sichel on October 27, 2011

Most of the time when we get angry or hurt, it is because we take things personally. We get hooked and react, which not only takes us out of the moment but negatively impacts our physical well being.

Much of our reactions come from family members. We have history with them and when they do something that annoys or hurts us it is because we have made it about us. In reality, it is about them- their thoughts, judgments and behaviors.

I once heard someone talking about how her parents really push her buttons. Someone replied: Remember, they installed them!

One of the most difficult challenges in relationships is to let other be who they are, quirks and all without layering our objections and reactions onto their behavior.

The key is to realize it is really not about us at all, it is about how they see things. When we are able to see this clearly, we can come back to the here and now and go about our day with peace and ease.

In time, maybe those buttons can be uninstalled!

Let me know in the comments below how you react to family. Do you take their behavior personally? If so, can you make a shift to stay in the moment?

Tags: behavior, ease, family, peace, reaction, relationships

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Create Your Own Reality

Posted by Ellen Sichel on September 29, 2011

I was having a conversation with an elder and he told me that he was often thinking about past events that impacted his life. He told me few stories and they were all about wrongs that he felt were done to him.

This man has had a wonderful long life with so many gifts, yet his focus is on the negative events.

I asked him: If it was painful when it happened years back, why would you want to continue to re- live the experience over and over again. It wasn’t fun the first time!

We all have experienced unpleasant situations and often we focus on and remember them more than the pleasant ones. Our negative experiences stem from either something that was done to us, something that we did, or something that we had no control over. We perpetuate whatever feelings we had and bring them into the present day.

Our reality is created by our mind.

If we would focus on the uplifting and happy events, we would live with more gratitude.This would bubble over into our relationships and experiences, helping us to stay present in the moment, fully participating in our daily life. We could live with my peace, ease and joy.

It's our choice.

What do you want your focus to be today? Let me know in the comments below.

Tags: ease, focus, gratitude, happy, joy, mind, negativity, peace, relationships

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Worry or Grace: Which is it Today?

Posted by Ellen Sichel on July 29, 2011

In his book, The sacred art of Lovingkindness, Rabbi Rami Shapiro explores worry and grace.

He says that all that matters is this moment and how you engage it. There are two ways to engage this moment: with grace or with worry. He goes on to say that the opposite of grace is your own anxiety.

Grace is defined as: Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
Anxiety is defined as: A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.

You experience anxiety when your mind is worried about the future or regret over the past.

When you are in the present moment, you open the door for grace.

Living in grace is effortless, having movement and form. The struggle is not there and an ease and calm replaces it. That is an exquisite way to live.

Breath, meditation, and other mindfulness practices bring you back to the present moment and they are accessible and easy to do.

Let me know in the comments below how you feel when you are in the moment and what happens to your state when you are in worry.

Tags: anxiety, calm, ease, grace, mindfulness, regret, worry

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Walking Lessons in 5 Steps

Posted by Ellen Sichel on May 2, 2011

Walking is something we do to get from one place to the other without much thought. For most of us we walk with ease, at the speed we choose.

Have you ever been walking and the next moment you are stumbling? There is no need to pay attention to the mechanics of walking because we walk automatically. When you trip it is because your mind is not where your feet are planted.

When you learn something new, you pay careful attention to detail and do it mindfully.

Take a few minutes and experience walking as if you were first learning to do it. Practice paying attention to each and every step.

Try this slow motion walking:

Try to notice each and every movement with no particular destination. You can keep your hands by your sides, or behind your back. You can do this indoors or outside. Keep your focus straight ahead.

There are 5 steps:

Lifting
Moving Forward
Placing Heel first
Shifting you weight
Push off with your toes

Keep totally focused on this slow motion walking and see what you notice.

Was it difficult? Easy? What did you learn from this experience? Let me know in the comments below. You are welcome to ask any questions.

Tags: attention, awareness, ease, focus, midnful walking, mindfulness, Walking

Posted in: Technique of the Week

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