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Splash Into Calm: Digesting Experiences

The holiday season is officially here. The past two blogs have focused on the food we eat.   You would be shortchanged if I didn’t dive deeper into what I feel is paramount to living a happy, fulfilling life. It is our capacity to digest, assimilate, comprehend, and shape our experiences

Our lives, are affected by our perceptions, judgments, and behavior toward those who disturb us. The real problem arises when our attitude limits our ability to live a peaceful and centered life. It is part of the human condition, so if you are human you probably partake in some of these attitudes. Please do not berate yourself (or go into denial). Take this as an invitation to become conscious of thoughts you might not even know you have.

Every tradition offers help with this challenge. The yoga texts have some relevant philosophy and I broach this subject now because this time of year we need a little extra help. I usually introduce this concept to my students right before Thanksgiving and it is greatly appreciated.

The teaching tells us that the agitation in our mind stems from our thoughts and opinions of others. Most people we meet fall into four categories and when we cultivate certain positive attitudes toward them, our state of mind will remain calm and undisturbed.

Let’s take a close look at the four attitudes:

Attitude #1: Cultivate friendliness toward the happy

Some people we know are happy about their successes and are filled with excitement and joy. However, before we know it, even as we are congratulating them, jealousy creeps in. This disturbs our state of mind, especially if we want for ourselves what they have attained.

Shifting your attitude to open up to their joy and celebrate their happiness can fill you up, leaving you feeling calm and centered. Next time you feel uneasy around someone’s happiness, take a breath and notice what is bothering you. Then bring yourself back to the moment and make the choice to shift your thoughts to an attitude of friendliness and happiness toward their success.

Attitude #2: Cultivate compassion for the unhappy

This one seems easy when we first look at it. Of course we are compassionate toward others who are not happy. However, we have all encountered people who are whiny and annoying and at times we would like to shake them and tell them to chill out! It is easy to get frustrated and judgmental toward those individuals.

 When you find yourself feeling impatient with someone who is unhappy, even if their behavior is inappropriate, take a breath and look beyond the behavior and practice compassion even if you do not feel compassionate. Recognize that those who are unhappy and negative are not at peace; realize how difficult and painful it must be to live that way.

Your shift in attitude from annoyance to compassion will calm your mind. Open up to looking beyond others’ discontent and your judgment will slip away. Remember, you can act with compassion while taking care of your needs around a negative, unhappy person. You will know you behaved with kindness and it will ripple throughout your day.

Attitude #3: Cultivate delight in the virtuous

I am sure you have come across a person who is quite intelligent or talented, or a wonderful athlete well-respected by others, or someone who might be generous and kind. No matter what positive qualities a person might possess, there are times when envy will set in as their mere presence makes us feel “less than.” We try to find something about them to pull them down a notch. We might not even realize we do this, but subtle negative thoughts often surface.

This thinking only disturbs your state of mind. To help foster a peaceful mind, cultivate appreciation, and take pleasure in others’ virtuous qualities.  Try to find delight in people you might envy by noticing their good qualities and consider cultivating those aspects within yourself.

Attitude #4: Cultivate disregard toward the wicked

We have all come in contact with those who are rude, disrespectful, or downright mean. Why wouldn’t we become defensive and judgmental? After all, we would never behave that way!

These people disturb our state of mind and emotions. It is helpful to keep a few important concepts in mind:

  • Remember that you have had times when your behavior was inappropriate and harmful toward others.
  • Do not take the person’s behavior personally, even it is directed toward you. They did not wake up that morning and specifically pick you out to be rude to, even if it feels that way. Keeping this distance helps you ignore the behavior of others, which will make your life much more serene.
  • Keep your focus on your feelings and responses, not theirs. That is the one thing you can control.

Keep in mind that this practice if for you. You are cultivating a more peaceful, joyous way of living with the capacity to digest your life experiences with a new perspective.

This holiday season, see if you can put the person you are struggling with in one of these four categories. Were you able to cultivate any of the attitudes? Did your state of mind change? Let me know in the comments below.

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Splash Into Calm: Thankgiving

Let’s look at the holiday where food is in the forefront—Thanksgiving. When we think about the Thanksgiving holiday there are a few aspects to be investigated: physical digestion, gratitude, and Native American culture. This excerpt from  Splash Into Calm sheds some light on the subject.

Digestion

We already looked at mindful eating last week, so let’s broaden our scope and include another cause of digestion issues. The Wall Street Journal’s March, 2009 article in New Health Journal addressed the effects of stress on our digestion.

L. Edwards, director of the Behavioral Chronic Pain Management program at Duke University Medical Center, said: “Now, we recognize that what happens in the brain affects the body and what happens in the body affects the brain.” The article goes on to say:

The digestive tract has its own extensive system of nerve cells lining the esophagus, stomach and intestines—known as the gut brain—that are extremely sensitive to thoughts and emotions. That's what creates the feeling of butterflies in the stomach. When anxiety persists, it can set off heartburn, indigestion and irritable-bowel syndrome, in which the normal movement of the colon gets out of rhythm, traps painful gas and alternates between diarrhea and constipation.

This is not a pretty picture, but it is the truth. I realize that most of us acknowledge that stress has an effect, but it is greater than we imagine.  Stress produces tension in our internal organs, decreasing their oxygen supply. This directly influences our ability to take in nutrients from food. The more oxygen that is absorbed in our internal organs, the healthier they are. We definitely want to keep our internal organs happy!

All of the techniques and perspectives explored throughout Splash Into Calm help temper stress.  Slow, deep breathing creates movement in your diaphragm that massages your stomach and other organs, increasing oxygen flow and nutrient absorption as well as expediting the elimination of waste.

In addition, yoga practices are beneficial.  Specific yoga poses help with digestion, because they give internal organs a massage, which brings in more blood and oxygen.

 There is a simple yoga pose that helps relieve bloating and gas. It is fondly known as the Wind Relieving Pose. I would recommend waiting at least a half hour after a big meal before practicing this or any form of exercise. It can be done in bed or on the floor.

I will give simple instructions but if you are confused or uncomfortable, wait until you work with a skilled instructor.

  • Lie on your back with your legs together and your lower legs over a blanket or chair; or simply keep your knees bent with your feet side by side.
  • Bring both knees to your chest and bring hands over to the left knee, and replace your right leg back over the blanket or back to the floor. Keep it close to the midline of your body.
  • Leave your right leg where it is and support your left knee with your hands either near your kneecap, or behind the knee crease.
  • Do not pull it in, but relax as you hold it. Keep it pointed toward your left ear. Stay here for a minute or two. Repeat on the other side.

Gratitude

Thanksgiving is essentially about giving thanks (hence the name) but it seems to become a food-a-thon and stress inducer, and the icing on the cake (no pun intended) is the inevitable indigestion. Some families have a tradition of asking each person around the table to share what they are grateful for, which is a nice beginning, but does not go far enough.  Saying what you are thankful for and behaving with gratitude are two different things. This phrase applies: “Don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk.”  You have the freedom to choose how you view everything in everyone in your life. Gratitude will foster a happier, healthier state of mind. 

Native American Culture

In today’s world there is great concern for our environment and the neglect and disregard it receives. We can learn a lot from the deep respect for Mother Earth and for all of creation embodied in Native American culture.  The Native American term Wankan tanka means “the sacred” or "the divine" and when we ponder the message of Thanksgiving, it is one of gratitude for all that is, all that has been, and all that will be. This is a way of life, the heart and soul, and the spiritual essence of the Thanksgiving holiday.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.  Let me know in the comments below how the practices and perspectives affected your holiday experience.  What is your focus during the holiday?

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Splash Into Calm: Food Glorious Food!

Welcome to Custom Calm blog. Most of the content comes directly from my book, Splash Into Calm.  This theme for November is Digestion and food is at the top of the list.

November marks the onset of holiday celebrations. We spend time with friends, family, or co-workers with a drink in one hand and food in the other, as we simultaneously chat and nibble, unaware of what we are eating and drinking.

Thanksgiving and other holidays revolve around food. We spend hours shopping, cooking, planning, and decorating for the long-awaited feast. We sit down to a plethora of sides, entrees, and desserts, surrounded by friends and family. (Some of whom give you indigestion without taking a single bite!)

Now it is time to eat. We scarf down the food and before we know it we feel boated, uncomfortable, and ready for a nap. What happened? Did we really taste the food or only the first bite? We over-ate without even realizing that we were full.

Many articles about overeating give some insightful solutions. The New York Times ran an article entitled “Mindful Eating as Food for Thought.” It addresses how we can enhance the experience of eating by being aware of the food as well as how the body feels. 

Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of the pioneers of mindfulness states “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

The term “mindful eating” seems kind of uninviting, so I will make it a bit more enticing. When you are present with what you are eating you will take delight in your food, eat less, and feel more satisfied. So you are not dieting (do I have your interest now?), but rather enhancing your relationship to food.

Here is an example to illustrate my point:

When I was training with Jon Kabat-Zinn, we participated in 36 hours of silence. This included no music, no eye contact, no shopping, no phones, no writing, no hobbies, or reading (I admit I cheated and read the road signs and t-shirts.) When it came time to eat, I slowly selected my food and arranged it on my plate in a way that appealed to me. I carefully chose a picturesque view and sat down. Every morsel I ate tasted delicious. I could sense the texture, color, aroma, sound, and flavors, immersing myself in the entire process of eating. What I found most interesting was that I became aware that I was getting full and ate less than I normally would.

Eating gives us the opportunity to embrace and savor life. When you are aware of what you are eating, the flavors as well as the entire experience will intensify. Think of it as a form of meditation. (Yes, a new enticement to meditate). If you are dining with another person, and when you are not speaking, take a bite and enjoy it; then resume your conversation.

 Take a few minutes and try this:

·      Pick one type of food that you normally eat. It can be raisins, popcorn, chocolate, or some other snack.

·      Take one piece and first feel the texture in your hand.

·      Look at it on all sides.

·      Smell it and take in the aroma.

·      Now, take it to your lips and take a small bite, without chewing.

·      Sense the flavor, texture, and the effect it is having on you as you roll it around in your mouth.

·      Slowly chew it as you continue to experience the entire sensation associated with what you are eating. Include both your body and mind.

·      Continue to finish the piece of food in this way and notice how you feel.

 Next, try mindful eating at one meal.

·      Close the newspaper and turn off the television, cell phone, and music.

·      Set a place for yourself at the table.

·      When you sit down, first look at your food and engage your senses like you did when you practiced with the snack.

·      Now eat, and know you are eating as you take one bite at a time, while observing the response of your body and mind.

These principles are not easy to incorporate. I don’t expect that many people will always be die-hard mindful eaters, but I invite you to incorporate these principles into your snacking and meals. As you slow down and become a bit more mindful of preparing and eating your food, you will feel satiated in a whole new way. Now that’s some food for thought!

Let me know in the comments below if you were able to try mindful eating.  If you did, how was the experience like? Did you find this easy or challenging?

Posted in: Splash into Calm

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Splash Into Calm: Exciting New Blog Format

Welcome to my new Splash Into Calm blog. Stay up to date by "liking" Custom Calm's new Facebook page.

My previous blogs were focused around practical, simple practices, perspective and studies targeting the common issue of stress and pain.  They were a great beginning, and now with the publication of my book Splash Into Calm, I have the opportunity to dive deeper and to offer my readers helpful, concise, uplifting, pertinent posts taken directly from the book.   The book is written in an easy to follow format, based on the calendar year and presented in monthly themes, each having four articles.  The new blog will follow the same inviting format.

To make this blog meaningful and practical, I take a “less is more” approach.  In this complex world, there is a need for simplicity.  That is exactly what Splash Into Calm blog is about—simple, realistic practices and ideas that profoundly enhance your daily living.  My content from my book is communicated in a personal manner, with a bit of humor, sharing my own experiences, as well as those of my clients­­.

The overall theme of my book and posts is the absolute accessibility of calm living. Calm living offers you the ability to embrace each moment of your day. It opens you up to increased joy, spontaneity, and pleasure, because you are aware and alert.  It is a fulfilling and wonderful way to live.

Below are the monthly topics we will explore together:

January:          New Beginnings

February:        Love & Kindness        

March:              Pain & Illness

April:                 Emergence

May:                  Travel

June:                Balanced Living

July:                  Emotions & Relationships

August:            Perspective

September:    Responsibility

October:          Day-to-Day Living

November:     Digestion

December:     Stress

I look forward to offering you tips, food for thought and a community where you feel comfortable sharing your experience and asking questions.  

 

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My New Book on its Way!

Yes, if is around the corner—my first book is in its final stages.

The entire process reminds me of childbirth.  I am now in labor and I can assure you that it is quite uncomfortable, even painful at times.  The due date of Custom Calm Chronicles first book, Splash into Calm is at the end of August.  As with any estimate due date, we are hoping for an early delivery, but I must wait until it is ready.  This process cannot be rushed. 

In my joy of the upcoming birth of my book, one of my helpful professionals wisely said “after it is born, you have to raise it!”  The reality of this stopped me in my tracks.  Once the book is published, I must market my new infant.  Now the work really begins. 

I will keep you posted on my progress and share some tips from my book.

Custom Calm Chronicles presents material with simplicity.  With that in mind, I have designed a format for this book that is easy to follow.  It is based on the calendar year and presented in monthly themes, each having four articles.  The topics are as follows:

January:  New Beginnings

February:  Heart

March:  Pain & Illness

April:  Emergence

May:  Travel

June:  Balanced Living

July:  Emotions & Relationships

August:  Attitude & Perspective

September:  Responsibilities

October:  Day to Day Living

November:  Digestion

December:  Stress

Look for excerpts in the next few weeks.

I will notify you when I deliver. Until then…take a breath and enjoy life moment by moment.

Let me know in the comments below how the process of achieving something you deemed important felt for you.

 

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Unravel the Moods from Stress

 

 

In her book on yoga and depression, Amy Weintraub makes this statement, and I agree with her:

Managing your breath equals managing your mood. 

We are now inundated with the importance of breathing.  The yoga community and now the medical community are all supporting breath as a key to optimal health.  What is the big deal?

The January 24, 2012 Wall Street Journal article looked at the positive influences that non-harmful stress can have.  It is that feeling of being pumped up a bit, excited in a positive way that can increase blood flow to the brain and limbs.  However, we are unable to turn it off.  Stress envelops us producing harmful consequences to our health. 

Martin Rossman, a clinical instructor at the University of California Medical School explains:  People under harmful stress lose the ability to re-engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which drives the body's day-to-day natural functions, including digestion and sleep. While individuals vary in how long they can tolerate chronic stress, research shows it sharply increases the risk of insomnia, chronic disease and early death.

What this is telling us is that the moods swings propelled by stress can be controlled and we are the ones that have that power.  The sad thing is that many of us would prefer to simply take some medication to take care of the problem.  Yes, we need help with symptoms produced by stress but even the best medicine will not help if we are not proactive. 

There are many simple techniques that are effective and they do not cost a dime or take much time.  This is why I began Custom Calm-to make it attainable and easy to learn how to live with the ups and downs of stress, because stress is a fact of life. 

Why not give it a try?

Let me know in the comments below how you deal with stress?  What kind of impact do your moods have on your life?

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Eat and Know You are Eating

Lately, I have seen articles about the positive impact of mindful eating.

The term can seem uninviting, but really eating mindfully is an invitation to deepen your appreciation and taste of food.

When we eat mindfully, we are in the moment and are better able to know when we are full.  We end eating less, aiding digestion and enjoying our food much more. 

Take a few minutes and try this:

Pick one type of food that you normally eat.  It can be a raising, pop corn, chocolate or some other snack.

  1. Take one piece and first feel the texture in your hand.
  2. Look at it on all sides.
  3. Smell it and take in the aroma.
  4. Take a breath.
  5. Now, take it to your lips and take a small bite, without eating it.
  6. Experience the flavor, texture and the effect it is having on you.
  7. Slowly chew it as you continue to experience the entire sensation associated with what you are eating.
  8. Continue to finish the piece of food in this way and notice how you feel.

Let me know in the comments below how this worked for you. Were you able to stay with the process?  Did you find out anything new about what you were eating? 

Posted in: Technique of the Week

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Digest a Happy Thanksgiving!

Physical digestion is most effective when we take in nutrients from our food and excrete what is no longer needed. 

The same is true for digesting life.  When we embrace all of our experiences no matter what they are and then let them go, we live a centered life.

The problem is that we hold on to both the positive and negative.  Our mind ruminates on what happened, leaving no room for fresh new perspectives.  We overflow with information, emotions and thoughts and we miss out of the present moment.

It is important to find ways to clear away some of the clutter.  Think of it as rebooting a computer when it is not responding.  Practices of meditation, breathing and yoga are quite effective at helping to make room for new experiences. 

Thanksgiving is here and we will be around family and friends, which can bring up many challenges.  Our mind is so busy that we eat and do not even taste our food which took hours to prepare.

With each experience, let go of what is not needed and have a Thanksgiving with only the leftovers that you want!

Let me know in the comments below how your Thanksgiving was.  Were you able to stay present and let go of what you did not need?  If not, what do you think stopped you?

Posted in: A Calm Perspective

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Season for Overeating: Yoga can Help!

Many of us have digestion problems and even if you do not, this time of year we tend to overeat, leaving us with bloating and indigestion.   

We have tension in our internal organs which decreases the oxygen supply.  This directly impacts our ability to take in nutrients from food.

The more oxygen that is absorbed in our internal organs, the healthier they are.

Yoga practices can be helpful:

  • Specific yoga poses help with this because the internal organs get a massage, bringing in more blood and oxygen.  There are also poses that are effective in relieving bloating and gas.
  • Some yoga styles help to decompress spinal tension which helps take the pressure off your organs, increasing blood supply.
  • Breath is another yoga technique that is very powerful.  The slower, deeper breath creates movement in the diaphragm which massages your stomach and other organs, increasing oxygen and nutrients absorbed as well as expediting the exit of waste.

An easy beginning to get more blood-flow through your organs is to focus is on your breathing. 

Custom Calm specializes in both simple, gentle yoga poses to help with internal tension as well as breathing techniques.  Practices are easy, accessible and quite effective.

Throughout the holidays, slow down your eating and remember to take slow easy breaths.

Let me know in the comments below what you noticed about your digestion.  Were you able to slow down and breathe?  If not, why do you think got in your way?  

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Wall Street Journal: Your Problem is Stress

The Wall Street Journal's March, 2009 article in new Health Journal addressed the effects of stress.

L. Edwards, director of the Behavioral Chronic Pain Management program at Duke University Medical Center:  "Now, we recognize that what happens in the brain affects the body and what happens in the body affects the brain. 

The article address:

Pain:  Psychological stress can turn into physical pain and illness in a number of ways. The muscles tense up, the digestive tract slow down, blood vessels constrict and the heart beat faster.

Digestion:  The digestive tract has its own extensive system of nerve cells lining the esophagus, stomach and intestines. When anxiety persists, it can set off heartburn, indigestion and irritable-bowel syndrome, in which the normal movement of the colon gets out of rhythm, traps painful gas and alternates between diarrhea and constipation.

Immune System:  Stress also creates biochemical changes that can affect the immune system, making it underreact to viruses and bacterial infections, or overreact, which can set off allergies, asthma and skin disorders like psoriasis and eczema. And stress can raise the level of inflammation in the body, which has been associated with heart disease.


The article supports: "tools to try to manage the situation" and this is the focus of Custom Calm.  The practices are life changing.


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