It is soapbox time! This newsletter will contain two parts. Since I am a no B.S. blunt coach and trainer that wears big fluffy pink bunny slippers, I will give you a full perspective on a topic that is of upmost concern.
Okay, here goes:
My no B.S. Soapbox:
I run up against this time and time again: Women who are overwhelmed by chronic stress, pain, or illness–they are crashing and want help, yet refuse to put themselves first and take charge of their life. They take care of everyone else, work, run a household, have a serious illness or life challenge and still will not invest the time and money in helping themselves.
They would do it in a heartbeat for their loved one–they even tell me so. I am both saddened and frustrated after hearing about how out of control their life is and how much they want things to improve, yet choose stay stuck in the same spiral. It is a tricky situation–stress and pain is exacerbated when we do not take care of ourselves. We stay in the spiral because the mind is too chaotic to make a clear decision. We are stuck.
The outcome is a slow destruction and deterioration of everything we care about, including our health. We do not see that self care is the most selfless thing we can do–the more you take care of you–the more you have to give.
This might sound harsh, but it is the truth–like it or not.
My Bunny Slipper Compassion:
I have been there, done that until my body imploded with lupus and my anxiety made me not a fun person to be around. No one forced me to put everyone first–I was raised that way, and so were many of you. I had to burn out before I made a decision to learn how to take care of myself.
When I get off the phone with someone whose life is falling apart and they are too scared to take charge of their life, my heart goes out to them. What I realize is this: Like an alcoholic, everyone needs to hit bottom, where it is more painful to stay stuck then to take the risk of putting their wellbeing first. They must see not only what it is doing to them, but the ones they love the most.
Compassion is the key. My hope for any of you in this situation is to do something before stress takes you down. Put your toe in the waters of treating yourself with compassion and begin to take care of you too. It is easy and does not take much time. After all, you deserve it.
If you saying to yourself, “yes Ellen, but my stress is not that bad and has not had an effect on my health”, join me at the Emory 2nd Reward Your Heart event at St. Joseph’s Doctors Center, and hear the truth while having fun–yes, chocolates, yoga, wine, tea, massage, and more ( I always need some enticement.) http://advancingyourhealth.org/heartblog/2014/10/14/reward-your-heart-2014/
I hope I have not offended any of you, and if I have, maybe I have struck a chord of truth. Take a breath, feel your feet on the floor, and without judgment ask yourself what you really want. Do you want to survive, or thrive?
I say, thrive in a life filled with awe, inner calm, play, compassion, and of course chocolate! Why not? After all, this is the only life you have.