Breast Painting? That I have to see!

This weekend I had the honor of being host and Chair for an event raising awareness and funds for breast cancer research. It is called Breast Strokes, and it the second year we have taken on this project.  It is one of the many powerful programs offered by Hadassah, a women’s empowerment organization.

As many of you know, I am not your traditional stress, pain, and chronic illness solutions teacher. I am a tell-it-like-it-is, upbeat, and yes, a bit strange teacher, and that is exactly why this program was so compelling to me.

We begin with Paint Day, the program I was chairing. Female artists painted 35 models breasts, with a variety of designs, mostly chosen by the models. There were female photographers and volunteers. It was a day of pampering, emotions, community, yummy food, and a bunch of fun.

I was involved last year, but being in charge gave me a gift I had not received in the past. The battle scars that many models both young and old had from surgeries had left them with many inner scars. The healing that took place was astounding, as many walked around baring their painted breasts to others around them.

Knowing that we are a part of, rather than feeling different from, can only be experienced when we are able to be vulnerable and seen.

One model told me she hadn’t looked in the mirror for 5 years and this experience helped her move on. Another now sees more than scars when looking in the mirror- she carries the painted image in her mind.

This day was much more than getting a great image painted. It was not about perfect photography or whose art was better. It was the process of seeing yourself beyond the externals of what your body looks like and sharing it with others. Everyone was more than their scars, experiences, abilities, and limitations.

This is at the heart of yoga philosophy:

If you visualize an iceberg, on the top are all of your identities; who you see yourself to be. You might be a teacher, a daughter, a southerner, and so on… Then one of your identities goes away. In this case it might be that you were young and healthy and now you have breast cancer, leaving your breasts uneven and scarred. You ask–who am I now? You might feel lost.

Since I am in the solutions business, the answer is simple but not easy. Look beyond the top of the iceberg into the water beneath–the iceberg is vast and you miss this when you only focus on the top of the iceberg. You are much more than your identities.

I saw this clearly at Paint Day. The models, artists, photographers, and volunteers had no idea of the impact they had on one another. They were looking beyond the tip of the iceberg. It was community at its best–there for one common purpose. To celebrate who we are.

The day was worth the intense preparation and long exhausting day. The only thing I would change is coming home Sunday to a sick dog keeping me awake all night (thanks Kiddo!)

I look forward to the Big Reveal on February 20^th where all the art is shared. Stay tuned!

I leave you with this thought: Remember, everything you have gone through is just part of your story, not who you are. Please, never forget that.

Shout Out to Caregivers:  You Rock!!!

This month we celebrate Nurses Appreciation Week.  Frankly, we need to celebrate nurses, doctors, and other caregivers on a daily basis.  In my work, I go to the infusion center to help patients and their families.  I also work with Hospice nurses and social workers. What I notice is how busy and frenzied the nurses and case managers are.  They are giving much more than medicine to patients.  They are on the front line of dealing with sick, fearful, and frustrated, patients and family members. They must always remain cool, calm, and collected.  They barely have time to breathe.

This is why I designed a Continuing Education program specifically for nurses, case managers, and social workers on Compassion Fatigue:  Help Yourself, Help Your Patients. Professionals, or as I call them the mega-caregivers, need support.  If they are not supported, how can they help family member caregivers or patients?

I first designed my programs with family caregivers in mind, and then realized that I was leaving out the most important group.  It must begin at the top. As they tell us on the airlines: Put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on the person next to you, even it if is a child.  I am not sure how many of us would heed that advice, but I can assure you of one thing:  You cannot give what you do not have.  For most caregivers I find that they put everyone before themselves and then they go home and give some more. I know from working with others along with my personal experience– if you do not fill up, you will burn out. 

How do you help yourself when you have no time at all?  Ahhh, that is my expertise. Let’s begin with creating a simple ritual the moment you wake up (okay, you can go to the bathroom first and for those who must have a sip of coffee to be civil, go ahead).

 Begin with this practice:

• Sit for a moment and focus on the movement of your breath.
• Your breath is like an ocean wave.  It is comprised of parts: Inhale, pause; exhale, pause.
• There is a wavelike movement to your breath as well:  It begins, rises, pauses, descends, and again pauses.
• I want you to follow your breath and notice the entire wavelike movement.
• Do this for 5 cycles.
• If your mind gets busy (and it will), no worries- that is normal!  Simply notice your mind and kindly guide it back to the wave of your breath.

The reason I want you to do this every day is that it will become ingrained.  When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed you will automatically know to take a moment and follow the wave of your breath.  This simple technique is a great beginning in putting the oxygen mask on yourself first so you can give from a full tank.

Remember, you deserve to take a few moments to recharge and calm down.  With the utmost respect for both professional and family caregivers out there– I ask you to take care of YOU. I guarantee, everyone around you will benefit. 

Stress Buster: Tired? No time to revitalize? Sure you do.

I was in conversation with a new client and she shared how exhausted she felt, juggling everything she had on her plate. Throughout the day, she would feel tired by the demands of her job with little down time to take care of herself. She reported that she felt better when she exercised, or got involved in other activities, but had little time.

Sound familiar? I see this as a universal challenge: Too much to do– not enough time.

How do we get through the day when we are fatigued? I am a practical person and I realize that going for a jog, playing loud music, belting out a tune, or any other energizing activity cannot be done while at work or when we are out and about, so we need some simple, realistic options.

Simplicity is my specialty: BREATHE. Yes, I know this suggestion is overused and I realize you are breathing or you would not be reading this newsletter, but when you think about it breath is always available. Let me entice you with a few benefits:

• Breath eliminates toxins.
• Breath massages your internal organs with blood and oxygen (and who doesn’t like a good organ massage?)
• Breath is free.
• You have your lungs with you everywhere you go.
• Breath relaxes your body.
• Breath will help you to anchor your mind back to the moment.
• A regular breathing practice will stimulate the relaxation response- which lowers your blood pressure, regulates your heart rate and shunts blood to the digestive system by balancing the involuntary nervous system.

In a nutshell: The more breath, the more oxygen; the more oxygen, the more vitality. 

Convinced?  Even if you are not, read on and give these simple practices a try:

To calm down and increase breath:

• Relax your belly. If you tend to suck in your belly allow yourself to let it all hang out for a few moments- nobody will know, I promise!
• Take a slow deep inhale through your nose, and count how long that took- it is usually somewhere around 3-6 beats of breath.
• On the exhale, add two more beats, so the exhale is longer than the inhale. Slowly exhale through your mouth as if you were blowing out a candle.
• Repeat three times while keeping your focus on the breath.

For a quick perk up:

• Take a slow deep inhale through your nose, and count how long that took- it is usually somewhere around 3-6 beats of breath.
• Now, instead of making the exhale longer, make it shorter. It will be a faster exhale than inhale. Exhale through your mouth as if you were blowing out a candle. Repeat three times.
• If you tend to be an over achiever, do not strain.

These simple practices will support you throughout your day.  Allow yourself to be a breathing machine and you will notice more energy, more focus, and calm.  Now, that’s a bargain!