August and September have been extremely difficult. It started with the passing of my Mom and since then, I have traveled back and forth to NY for a week at a time to pare- down her house, I have spent more time back in my home town in Long Island, NY in the past two months (freshening up on my NY accent,) than in the 37 years. Before Mom died, I had teamed up with Dr. Brenda Paulen to help her in her community outreach. I was building momentum, which has now gone by the wayside. Okay, I can deal with all of that and stay in gratitude, but I do have limits.
Two weeks ago, I was (un-mindfully) rushing at a department store to return something before the store closed, and in a flash, my sneakers stopped short and I went down on my right shoulder- crack– a sound no one wants to hear. Damn, the floor was way too flat and clean! I had broken the ball joint of my shoulder and jarred my entire body. Of course, my right side is my dominant side.
My husband was in the mall and quickly came back to take me to the ER where they told me I had cracked my shoulder in two places. They proceeded to put me in what felt like a straight- jacket (Hmmm, maybe that was a hint about my mental state.) As it was a Friday night, I had to wait until Monday to see an Orthopedic. The name they gave me seemed okay, until I looked him up- knees were his specialty. Really?
The Doctor’s Visit:
I researched and found a shoulder specialist at Resurgens, and was taken on Monday. After he examined me, he gave me some good news- no surgery needed,and I could use a normal sling. Progress. I still let him know that I hurt like hell and was not a happy camper. He then quoted something I teach- “It is what it is, while it is, the way it is, until it changes.” Go figure, years back I had taught a lunch and learn series at Resurgens and he was in my class! The ultimate walk your talk payback.
Resistance and Progress:
I have had to ask for help in everything from driving, putting on my bra, cutting my food, lotioning my left arm, and the list goes on. I hate asking for help. Some of you might be thinking- “the universe is telling Ellen to slow down.” If one more person tells me that, I will smack them with my left hand!
I’m now two weeks into this and the pain is much better, I was able to tie my sneakers- I guess all my yoga has kept me flexible- I was able to tie it and tighten in by using my teeth- such talent. Sometimes it’s the small successes that keep me moving forward. I no longer have to sleep sitting up, and can sleep without the sling as long as I wedge my arm next to my body- progress. My yoga teaching days have come to a screeching halt, giving me the opportunity to get creative with my work. Most importantly, my sense of humor is slowly returning.
Throughout the day we face all sorts of emotions and when we can allow ourselves to simply be with what is, rather than resist, things shift more quickly. As I was reminded- “It is what it is, while it is, the way it is, until it changes.” And, it will change- that I guarantee!
Hope to see you all soon!